My brother and his partner have fulfilled their biological imperative and procreated. Some people have made the claim that I would be a good uncle, completely ignoring that I avoid children, they are too close to my maturity level for my comfort. But I have been thinking what advice I might give once Abigail becomes more interesting.
1: Travel
Just travel, it opens your eyes, broaden your horizons. I feel pity for people who think that the country they were born in is the best without ever bothering to learn about other countries. Plus it gives you plenty of stories to entertain/bore people at work, parties and funerals. Just don’t be too concerned when someone tells you a place was better a year, or a decade ago, those sort of people are best off avoided or silenced with a Karate chop to the neck if that’s allowed by local laws.
2: Know when to leave
This can be a job, a living situation, platonic or sexual relationships. Most things move towards their end, even when they don’t end in bitter recriminations, stains on carpets or unpaid wages, there will come a point when continuing any further will be no good for you.
3: Read
Doesn’t matter if it’s Tolstoy or Harry Potter, William Gibson or those time travelling Viking Navy Seal romance novels. It’s escapism and good for killing time while waiting for doctor’s appointments. Also it makes you look smarter than just scrolling on a device.
4: Learn to say no, and sometimes yes to drugs
Alcohol is good in moderation, but can be a problem if you constantly imbue and need it to feel normal. Dope is good in moderation, and probably as legal as alcohol by the time you are old enough to buy beer, but you don’t want to be one of those people whose personality revolves around partaking. Actually that’s true of alcohol as well. Stay the hell away from anything that you need to snort or inject. Also stay away from cigarettes, they don’t get you high and are horrible for your health. By the time you read this there will probably be options I have never heard of, so you’ll have to work those out yourself.
5: Cultivate some hobbies
Its a good thing to have between work and sleep, and will put you in contact with people who you normally would never be in contact with. Personally I find passion and enthusiasm an attractive quality in people, especially when the subject matter doesn’t generate money or status.
6: Learn when to shut up
You will meet plenty of people who are more than happy to tell you all about their football team, their church, their sex life, regardless of your lack of interest on the subject. Or people who can’t handle silence. Don’t be one of those people. Plus you will be amazed how often people assume you are deep in thought if you keep quiet for a while.
7: Trust your instincts
This holds true for dating, business ventures or cooking. If something seems off but you can’t explain it, you are probably correct.
8: Accept that you are going to make mistakes
and learn from them and forgive yourself. I’m avoiding typing out the whole reflection/rumination Psy 101 lesson here, so ill just say learn to make mistakes, learn from them and move on.
9: Seek help when you need it
Specifically I am thinking of mental health, but this also applies to finances, moving house or learning new skills. No one is an island, and there is no point in making your life harder than it needs to be.
Adrian's Got The Moose 