The next morning I barely managed to settle my bill, and get a Grab to what turned out to be the back of a warehouse, and not the bus station or office that I expected, even though it was the pickup point listed on the ticket. I sat on the steps of a nearby agricultural bank for half an hour, considering the futility of man, the nature of my self-destructive tendencies, and how the bank staff would react if I got a swag, a portaloo, and an esky full of ice and Pocari Sweat delivered right here and just smiled inanely for the next year.
Finally summoning a herculean level of willpower, I walked to the nearest intersection and hailed a taxi. The taxi driver didn’t speak a word of English, which was fine because I don’t speak a word of Vietnamese. After trying to drop me off a hundred metres up the road, I managed to convince him I wanted to go further, showing him what I hoped was the bus company office on my phone. He then tried to drop me off at a hotel a kilometre down the road, and when I refused to get out he enlisted a staff member who spoke English and we managed, somehow to get to the office.
A few minutes later I was sitting in the office, staring at the bus over the road that I was told was the bus I needed, because I had completely regressed out of object permanence. Exactly on time I boarded the bus.
I was the only Westerner on the bus, and I suspected the only non-Kymer, we were all heading over the border into Cambodia, and ultimately the capital.
Half way through our seven-hour journey we exited Vietnam and entered Cambodia. the whole procedure was done by our guide, who collected passports, got us to wait inside the checkpoint building, then back into the bus for a short trip to the Cambodian side, where the procedure was repeated. Luckily no questions were asked of me, as I doubt I could have recited my date of birth. The Cambodian border town was a graceless monstrosity given mostly over to dubious-looking casinos, and we had a meal break before continuing, and a short stop for me to go to an ATM to pay back our guide who paid my visa fee for me because the fee must be paid in USD.
Hours later, we entered Phnom Penh, passing Wat Phnom and Independance Monument, before stopping at the bus company office. Grabbing my pack, I stepped into the office and begged the WIFI password from the most stunning lady working there. I did a little dance of joy when I discovered that my hotel was a ten minute walk from the office, and I bypassed the Tuk Tuk drivers and made my way to the hotel on foot. There I managed to check in without further incident, where I showered, shaved and and slept for ten hours, the deep, untroubled sleep of children, and idiots.
Adrian's Got The Moose 