Slow Boat to Thailand

There are provinces in the north of Laos that are entirely forgotten by the government, the roads are barely passable at the best of times, resulting in a situation where the only reliable transportation is by boat, on that ever-present Mekong River. There was nothing further for me in Laos, except the near-legendary slow boat to Thailand.

On the shared taxi to the pier, I met the Westerners I would be sharing the journey with. Four beautiful but highly aloof Dutch girls, an extremely conceited Swiss man, a Japanese couple, and an Australian music producer doing the digital nomad caper. The boat was bigger than I expected, which was somewhat comforting to my caffeine starved mind, something I managed to ease further after I spotted eskies outside a hut and purchased two Birdy iced coffees.

We made our way upstream under the loud, low-revving Diesel motors, as our captain piloting a convoluted path, whether to avoid the strongest currents or to avoid underwater hazards I had no clue.

Having attempted, and failed to engage my fellow passengers in conversation, I turned my attention to the views. The Mekong here is nestled between high hills, leading to some dramatic landscapes.

Hard to photograph with a phone.

Some buildings dot the river banks, most were humble, which in Laos can be nothing more than a lean-to made from scrap materials. A number of bridges cross the Mekong, many half finished, no doubt stalled by sudden lack of funds, or interest as political forces waxed and waned. Judging by the vegetation growing around the stark concrete pylons, progress had been stalled for years.

Can’t believe we were the slower slow boat.

After a few hours I got bored, and turned to my Kindle, and when cell-phone towers got close, tedious Youtube videos. At eleven o’clock I decided boats are like airports and its never too early for beer. After ten hours on the water, we arrived at Pekbeng. I had booked the night’s stay at the unimaginatively named Pekbeng Guesthouse, a two minute walk from the pier. I took great satisfaction in checking in while the Eurotrash was still trying to get their luggage and bodies into a truck. An hour later I was eating a curry dish while the family who owned the guesthouse watched a trashy TV show, the situation mired when half -way through the meal a cockroach scarpered over my table.

The next morning I woke early and walked to the pier, which was worth it for the light shining onto the river.

I want to see Mountains, Gandalf!

The second day was very similar to the first day, and this time I made sure I had my notebook with me to keep myself occupied. I landed in Huang Xai, walking the two kilometres along a faded promenade, much to the amusement of school children and dog walkers. My hotel room in Huang Xai was lovely, and featured a balcony helpfully overlooking an alleyway instead of the river. I stayed for one night, which was enough to book my onward trip into Thailand, and enjoy my last Larp dish, a few Big Beer Laos and a sundae to burn through the last of my Lao Kip.

Also, Cafe Cat.

In the early morning light I walked to the hostel I was to meet my guide half an hour early, to discover my flawlessly polite guide was already waiting for me in his Landcruiser.

Apparently I was the only one who booked today so we set off. My guide drove us towards the Lao-Thai Friendship Bridge, where I was stamped out of Laos. A bus took me across the bridge, and at the Thai border my Australian passport granted me my first free entry into a country since Hong Kong. I was picked up at the other end by my previous guide’s Thai offsider, who was less useful, who managed to hit a stray dog on the way to Chang Rai. I stayed in Chang Rai just long enough to buy a local SIM card, get some coffee, and then on the bus, where I was seated next to a head-scarfed older lady who made it abundantly clear she didn’t want to sit next to me.

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Lovely Luang Prabang

Leaving Vang Vieng proved to be difficult. After the third travel agent told me that a landslide had closed the road between Vang Vieng and Luang Prabang, I finally admitted defeat and booked a train.

It turns out that the Laos-China Railway is the only piece of infrastructure in Laos that approaches western standards, most likely due to the influx of Chinese money. The security measures seemed on paper to be strict, but in practice seemed entirely for show, a wand was neglectfully waved all over me, but no attention was being paid to the beeps and I was shoved through.

The trip was uneventful and I got a shared taxi to the centre of town, and then walked the last kilometre to my hostel. Luang Prabang has a delightfully shabby historical centre, and was the capital until 1975, which may explain why Vientine feels a little soulless by comparison.

Royal Palace

On my first full day I took the hostel’s mini bus to Kuang Si Falls, which are incredibly epic.

One of the three tiers

Three tiers and multiple pools you can frolic in. After taking many photos and a short swim, I spent the last half an hour with my feet in one of those pools, reading a vampire novel, unmolested by the tourist hordes.

The focal point of Luang Prabang is Phousi Hill, overlooking the night market, The Mekong, the Nam Khan River, and the Royal Palace.

View from Phousi Hill

The hill itself features a beautifully ramshackle wat, with incredible views from the top.

Like so much of Laos, the temple was once grand, but now much faded. The ticket seller was engaged in some paving repair when I arrived, which gave a good indication about how well funded the place is.

A forgotten corner of a near-forgotten wat.

The hostel I stayed at was well populated by young backpackers, most of which I struggled to relate to, but I did get to know a few. Bree, an Australian lady from Sydney I bonded with over a similar history. Ruby, an English lady who contracted Dengue Fever in the jungles of Thailand. Leander, an irrepressible Canadian lad who shattered his ankle on a motorbike and was awaiting his insurance company to organise his flight home. These last two were a sober reminder on how precarious the situation can be here for independent travellers, and how lucky I had been that after two and a half months of travel, I had no trouble apart from a stomach bug and an infection that responded well to antibiotics.

My second to last night in Laos I was manipulated into joining the pub crawl. After we left the first bar, we were waiting outside the second bar while our guide tried to sort out our previously approved entry, and I was feeling sweaty, bored and very out of place. I slipped away unnoticed, bought a beer to drink on the way back to the hostel, then headed to bed.

If you liked this post, please check out the rest of the posts from this trip here!