Gerrit Ballast, Australian Christians: Do you really think someone with tattoos, four piercings, a three day growth of beard on a Saturday morning, and currently hands that look like they were washed in sulfuric acid is going to vote for you? Mentulam caco.
Mario Lionetti, Independent: Yeah, no party would touch this guy, his biggest claim to fame is his videos where he is yelling at his fellow candidates, and how they won’t acknowledge his existence and debate him. If all the other candidates died in a series of unfortunate, unlikely, and darkly amusing events, does anyone actually think he would be capable of transporting himself north of Mount Barker to get to Parliament?
Phillip Arnatt, Legalise Cannabis Party WA: Okay cool, I am in favour of that, but do you have any other policies or opinions?
Lyn Maclaren, The Greens WA: The Greens are routinely derided for being ineffective and at the same time blamed for destroying whole industries when they manage to push through mild changes. Their policies are broadly aligned with my beliefs so they get my vote. I also know it will be a cold day in hell before they are elected in my hick town, but I can still dream.
Rebecca Stephens- WA Labor: Ah, our nominal mainstream left-wing party, that right-wing voters seem to think is as far left as Karl Marx. Recently I have been accused of being a hippie Labor voter, when in reality I’m much further to the left. Current seat holder and still the favourite.
Scott Leary, The Nationals WA: The Nationals were created to represent farmers, but we are supposed to ignore that they are happy to hang those farmers out to dry when mining companies show up with bags of cash. Also, they seem to assume that non-farmers don’t vote.
Synjon Anstee-Brook- Shooters, Fishers, and Farmers Party WA: Well, I am not any of those things. They are trying really hard not to be known as libertarian, which they clearly are. They seem to think every Australian has a dire need to own dozens of guns. They also seem to think the bush is just a place to trash with their Hiluxes.
Quinton Bischoff- One Nation: You guys usually don’t try to hand me a how to vote card, which I always take as a compliment. One Nation is the party for the ignorant, the uneducated, and the bigoted. Actually, now that I think of it they are what the Australian Christians would be with criminal records and less teeth. The fact that Quinton is an immigrant himself (but a white South African, so a good one in their view) is interesting. So many One Nation candidates are ex-cons I am beginning to suspect it’s a preselection prerequisite.
Tom Brough- Liberal Party: Strange how the Libs and his own website neglect to mention his linking the LGBTQIA+ community with pedophilia or his anti-vax and anti-choice views. The Libs party leader considers him to be bizarre but is desperate to have anyone contesting the seat. Many of his election posters have been vandalised, which has been highly entertaining
Due to the tedious nature of this post, please accept this video of bunnies being arseholes.
Adrian's Got The Moose 