Tag: family

In Mourning

My mother passed away peacefully but unexpectedly on the 8th of April this year. On the 1st of May, we laid her to rest. A more concise version of the following text was read by the celebrant on my behalf.

My mother was a constant nurturing and calming presence in my life. I seldom left our traditional Sunday dinners without a doggy bag of leftovers. Even after I got a good job and my own place, I had to be careful not to mention that I was about to buy something for my unit, as she would spend hours searching for a spare of the item she had stored away years ago just in case someone needed it. When I would ask Mum what she wanted for Christmas or her birthday, she would regularly reply all she wanted was a visit from her boys. If pressed, she would ask for something cheap, practical, and often not really for herself. A notable departure of this was the scarf I bought her during my trip to Cambodia, and I can’t remember her ever wearing it, or even what it looks like. I would have insisted she was cremated with it. My Mother’s passing was a shock that I will not be recovering from any time soon.

My mother is to the left.

There was almost a month’s delay between my mother’s passing and the funeral. Despite a full post-mortem, the most that the coroner’s office could tell us is that they don’t know. When the funeral finally happened, I honestly thought I was over the mourning, and I would be stoic and dry-eyed. This lasted as long as the photo-montage, where I saw the vibrant young woman sitting on a couch with my family’s first-ever cocker spaniel.

Something I learned about losing someone so close to you is that you suddenly feel like you are an unwilling member of the world’s most exclusive secret society. Within that secret society, you also hold a unique position that no one else quite understands. People who I didn’t know about the passing of my mother, and I didn’t feel the need to tell, oddly became viewed as some kind of rival agents whom I became tight-lipped around. Most of the time, I would go about my day as if nothing life-changing had happened, then a self-checkout asks me for a Fly-Bys card, and the next thing I know, I am rushing to get back to my car without crying.

Captivating Chang Mai

Chang Mai has gotten a lot busier since I was there last, but the old city still feels cool.

Love those Spirit Houses

Get past the ring road inside the remains of the ancient walls, it’s a thin layer of hotels, Seven-Elevens and temples, then it’s mostly enchanting windy alleyways, filled with bars, hostels, and so damned many weed shops. Many of the alleyways that seem nothing more than nightsoil roads feature some amazing street art.

Around the corner from Lanna Square

My hostel, one of two identically named ones, was on one of these quiet alleyways, that only allowed one way travel for cars. It was very typical of its breed, a building designed for something else, which failed one way or the other, and now was cheaply renovated into its present, unassuming purpose. The bathroom in my dorm room raised some eyebrows for me. While sitting on the toilet, your eye was immediately drawn to a decoration that to me seemed straight out of a nineties era penthouse.

It’s enough to give you IBS

I asked the lovely lady working in reception if the building had been a brothel or a short-stay hotel, and she very carefully didn’t answer, which of course just made me more suspicious. I have probably stayed in dozens of former brothels during my travels, but this is the first time I felt it was so obvious. The dorm was also racially segregated. When I checked in two Thai lads had set up camp in the bunk beds closest to the bathroom, and out of habit I choose the lower bunk closest to the balcony. When a westerner checked in later, he oddly choose the bunk above me, rather than the two empty bunks in the middle. The oddness continued when I realised the two Thai lads seemed to never leave the room, spending their days in their bunks and taking long showers.

During my night time walks, I discovered Lanna Square, a group of international food stalls set up around a temporary stage, the food was overpriced, but the entertainment was decent.

A lot of the temples around the old city, while being open to the public, were in no way being promoted, which meant I could walk around to my heart’s content without being hassled overly.

At least the locals don’t need to be told to take off their shoes.

If you liked this post, please check out the rest of the posts from this trip here!